True and meaningful friendships are so important—especially for women. I’m not talking about acquaintances or those we are Facebook friends with, although they are important too. I’m talking about the kind of friendships that you can be real in and the conversations go far deeper than the surface stuff. Here are the top 5 tips to lifelong friendships which carry over season after season.
- Make Time. Great friendships do take work. Not in the sense that you must talk to them every day or even every week. But you do need to have text/phone conversations monthly and carve out some time once a quarter for a long lunch or dinner.
- Don’t be a Taker. A true friendship involves more than just getting something out of the deal. Check in even when things are going great and if you know she is having a tough time—devote time to be there. Always listen to what’s going on in her life so you can ask follow-up questions the next time you see her. A simple, “Hey, you mentioned your mom going in for surgery the last time we talked, how is she doing?” goes a long way.
- Never Gossip or Break Confidence. As women, we tend to gossip. We like to talk and we like to compare, but just make a point not to. Generally, when we gossip about someone anyway, the person listening will think you do the same to her when she’s not around. It’s just best to let people speak for themselves and keep other’s names out of your mouth. What is especially not cool and off limits in friend-keeping is to share something told to you in confidence. Unless there is a safety risk involved, don’t tell it to anyone—not even your man. Be loyal and trustworthy.
- Honesty is the Best Policy. Part of having a meaningful friendship is to hear the ugly truth sometimes. Not that our friends have an open door to slam us with all our flaws and mistakes, but when we need it (such as—we are doing something destructive) or ask for it, it’s our faithful friends who should deliver. We know if the person truly does care about us, they are almost obligated to tell us the truth—no matter how hard it may hurt. Sisterhood is made in times of adversity. Hearing the truth (although it can sting) is much better than the flattery and sweet kisses of lies. No room for fake and phony between BFFs, so treasure those who have your best interest at heart and give you that honesty when you need or ask for it.
- Don’t Be Jelly. Faithful friends celebrate each other’s successes. Be happy when she wins for being the most successful business woman of her community; or lands a perfect fella; or has a child who never seems to get into trouble. Even if things don’t seem to be going perfect for you in your eyes—be supportive, happy and proud of your friend. Because that’s what devoted friends do.
I’m sure these are things most already know, but it helps in recognizing those friendships we may have and just take for granted. It also helps to be reminded of some truths to put things into perspective from time to time too. Happy friending!
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