Pregnancy wasn’t a part of your plan.
An unexpected pregnancy can cause a lot of anxiety, and the thought of telling your partner can increase your stress, especially if you don’t know how they will react. This is common. Just know you’re not alone.
If you are in a safe, caring relationship, and you want your partner to be involved, here are a few helpful tips on how to tell your partner you’re unexpectedly pregnant and may help you prepare for the reaction.
How Do I tell My Partner About an Unplanned Pregnancy?
1. Confirm your pregnant first
It might be a good idea to confirm your pregnancy before you have a conversation with your partner. Sometimes pregnancy symptoms and at-home pregnancy tests aren’t always accurate. The best way to confirm you’re pregnant is to see a licensed medical provider.
Southside Women’s Services offers free, confidential medical-grade pregnancy testing that is 99% accurate and 100% confidential.
Confirm your pregnancy by scheduling an appointment today.
2. Figure out what you’re feeling
After you’ve confirmed you are pregnant, you might feel flooded with conflicting emotions. It is completely normal and valid to be in shock and overwhelmed with worry and questions.
Before you let the feelings and opinions of your partner influence you, it’s a good idea to figure out what you are feeling. Try taking a walk, being outside, or finding a quiet place to journal to process what initial emotions you might be feeling.
When you have a minute to calm your emotions, you will be in a clearer place to speak to your partner and be resilient to whatever his reaction may be.
If you don’t feel like telling your partner is safe or are unsure if you want him involved, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We care about you and are here to help you navigate what next steps are best and safest for you. Your situation is completely confidential with us.
If you need help sorting out your thoughts, our trained staff are here to support you.
3. Plan to tell your partner in person
Communicate in person. Seeing their reaction, facial expression and body language can help eliminate misunderstandings that often occur when texting or using other digital platforms. Meeting face to face helps you both process this information together.
Pick a time and place that is private and allows time to talk through both of your feelings together. Don’t share that you’re pregnant when you both are rushing out the door or either of you are in a bad mood.
When you share the news, you can use phrases like, “We’re pregnant” or “We’re having a baby”. This communicates this situation requires both of you to accept and respond to it.
4. Be open and honest
It’s important to be fully open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling. Tell him your worries and what you would like to do about the pregnancy. Tell him that you really value his true feelings and opinions and want his input.
Often times partners think they are supportive in pregnancy choices by saying they support whatever you choose. Sometimes this is helpful, other times it makes women feel more alone. Be upfront about what you want and need from him.
5. Give space for his reaction
Give him time to process this information. Remember you’ve had some time to process this information. This is his first time hearing it.
If he responds negatively, give him some space. His initial reaction might not be true to what his intentions and feelings towards the pregnancy are long-term. If the conversation starts to escalate or you feel threatened in any way, remove yourself from the situation and reach out for help.
You might be thinking, “What if we don’t agree on what to do?”
Even if he doesn’t come around to the same conclusion as you, it will still be okay. Your support system doesn’t have to look like just your partner. Family and friends are a great support system to lean on. Our staff at Southside Women’s Services are here to support you, too.
6. Discuss next steps together
If you want your partner to be involved in this pregnancy, talk about what next steps might look like. Discuss what you envision the future to look like and what you are going to do to get there. Maybe your next steps can look like telling your parents together or having him attend your future appointments.
If your partner is pressuring you to get an abortion but you aren’t sure, or maybe you’ve thought about abortion yourself, our licensed medical professionals can walk alongside you and provide the healthcare information you need so you can determine what option is right for you.
Get Advice and Support at Southside Women’s Services
Whether you are looking for information on your pregnancy options, medical-grade pregnancy testing, an ultrasound, or just someone to talk to about the pressures of an unexpected pregnancy, we are here for you.
Clinic appointments are provided at no cost to you. No insurance required. Make an informed and empowered pregnancy decision today.